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Practical, Positive and Empowered Women Making A Difference

The Inner Circle: 5 Principles To Building Your Own Inner Circle and What It Can Do For You


In a world where more always seems to be better than less, the elite have consistently clung to the concept of ‘exclusive’ – an appreciation of the exact opposite: less is actually more. Whether it be the world of celebrity, politics, business or even academia, those who make it to the top have an exclusive, small and tight inner circle. However, don’t be mistaken. You don’t have to be rich and famous to benefit from an inner circle. Here’s how:

  1. Wisdom

A inner circle is a select group that meet very clear criteria. Along with basic standards of humanity (ditch anyone who you met on Tinder) you are looking for people who make you a better person and people for whom you can reciprocate.

  1. Happiness and Security

Along with the wisdom, appreciate that the members of your inner circle need to have your best interests at heart. Only when you are sure of this can you allow yourself to bask in the oxytocin that is released in your brain as a bonding hormone when ever you connect with your inner circle. Not only does this oxytocin make you feel secure, it also gives you a natural happiness boost!

  1. Discipline

You are going to have to make some tough choices. However, instead of thinking of this as a process of kicking people out of the inner circle, imagine that you are simply creating a new layer above all the people already in your life. Don’t ask who is ‘out’ but instead try to pick a few people who will be in. Remember the test, people who help me grow and have my best interests at heart. No one makes it in just because of the quantity of time or space they occupy in your life. Room-mates, non-serious boyfriends, the girl who you share 99% of your classes with – none of these have an automatic pass into the circle.

  1. Perks of The Inner Circle

Just like your internet connection has a certain bandwidth, the quantity of information it can send and receive every millisecond, so too your life has a certain bandwidth. Your inner circle determines how you allocate it. Within the elite, only the inner circle has, for example, a the person’s personal cellphone number. That might be hard to replicate but perhaps you can, for example, limit the automatic ‘push’ notifications your phone will give you to only those from these particular people. Instead of filtering out the spam in your inbox how about filtering IN your inner circle so that the first inbox you check is the box which only shows you messages from them. There are, of course, many more ways of prioritizing your inner circle. We’d love to hear your ideas.

  1. Focus

Lastly as a natural consequence of this process, your inner circle provides you with focus. It allows you to keep your eye on the ball and your mind on the goal – success. Not only have you limited distractions, you have maximized the bandwidth you give to people who will really help you grow.

Hat Tip to Naftali Mark Horowitz and the ASU ‘JAC girls’ for the inspiration behind this blog.


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