Work That Love: Love Secret #8 – Five ways we work that should change the way we love
By Chana Goldstein and Danielle Miller
Imagine that we treated our love lives like we did our careers. Well, research in the Journal of Family Psychology shows that if you want to be happy, the quality of your long term relationship matters more than how much you will earn.
However, relationships come with a health warning too…
While serious, committed relationships provide all those benefits, short-term casual ones often have the opposite effect. Research from the Kinsey Institute showed hookups put young adults at risk of depression, anxiety and low self-esteem. That also doesn’t take into account the increased risk of sexually transmitted illnesses, unwanted pregnancies and non-consensual sexual experiences.
Maybe we should start taking this whole dating thing far more seriously! So here are our top 5 tips on getting seriously good at love…
1. Get Educated
We literally spend thousands of dollars and hours on excellent degrees that will get us excellent jobs. While you don’t need a masters in love to create a great relationship, it’s absolutely worth educating yourself on what it takes to make those super ‘lucrative’, sustainable, and committed relationships work.
2. Set Goals
Remember when you were little and you wanted to ‘be’ something – fireman, princess, doctor, etc.? When we talk about careers, we set goals, but for some reason, when we talk about love, we talk about ‘dreams, wishes and hopes’. Top CEOs do more than wish for success. They set goals and then they work to make it happen. Changing the way we think about what we want in our relationships can make a huge difference in whether or not we achieve it.
3. Take Control
True love is not something that happens to you. There are many things that you can do to take control of your relationships. We have to stop letting our hormones drive, and take the wheel with our brains in gear. Check out some of our past posts for great ideas…
4. Maximize Opportunity
Pretty much anyone can land a 24/7 shift at McDonalds, but we understand that if we are too busy flipping burgers, when will we have time to land that perfect job? So many times, we are just too busy dating the romantic equivalent of a Chicken McNugget – tasty at the time, but nutritionally void, (if not completely unhealthy). Step back, and take some time out. Give yourself the emotional space to invest in finding someone who can make you happy for way more than just a few minutes.
5. It’s Never Enough
Successful people don’t think in terms of ‘happily ever after.’ A great business can always be greater. A ‘top’ lawyer/doctor, etc. can always be better. Our salary could always have another zero. However, for some reason, the wedding almost always seems to happen at the end of the movie, suggesting that the interesting bit of the journey is over – you MADE IT – bravo! Not so fast, buddy. Great relationships can always become greater. There is no upper limit to true love. The couples that make it are those that never give up trying to improve what they already have.